Thank you everyone for your well wishes!! =) The little things go a long way. The littlest well wishes can bring a smile to a person's face. I appreciate them.

Today I spent the day, fretting about Chinese next Monday. There was only a quiet celebration with just my family, as it has been all my life. As I looked out of the window, the gloomy sky finally broke down, releasing an unabated deluge. Inside I feel nothing...

I recalled my days in Fairfield... The dread I had on my birthdays. I can still remember how in secondary 1 to 2, no one remembered my birthday lest even celebrated it.

Maybe because I look different now, or the environment is different, or even because of Facebook, but this year, my birthday was unprecedented as compared to before. But still, how I envy people with such exciting birthday celebrations...

Today was the first time this happened to me. While it wasn't my fault, I was caught inevitably in the squabble. It all started when me and my mum boarded the train at Chua Chu Kang heading towards Jurong East. Upon entering, we caught sight of an empty priority seat at the side. Beside the seat was an old woman in her sixties. Leaning against the panel was her daughter (which we realised only later) and in standing in front of her was their maid. The daughter was a well-dressed lady, seemingly in her twenties, with looks that were above average. Under her seemingly normal demeanour hid an imperceptibly warped character. This was something that shocked me the most.

My mum went to sit at the seat, not knowing that they were apparently deliberating on whether the maid or the daughter should sit. When sitting, the old woman shoved my mum off and scolded her in Hokkien. The daughter quickly sat in the seat. After my mother left the seat, she mutter under her breath "she pushed me". The daughter, now seat seated, yell at the top of her lungs "PUSH WHAT PUSH! SHE WHERE GOT PUSH YOU! ......". Then the old woman also started scolding in Hokkien to my mum. I was dumbfounded. My mum shouted back the daughter. I can't remember exactly what but it was about the pushing, not any insult. She then walked off. Everyone was watching intently at the scene. I stayed behind, due to the shock of my mother's suddenly departure. Meanwhile, the old woman was talking loudly in Hokkien, and scolding me, which I inferred from the "kia" she said. I just ignored their existence.

I was really upset by how they treated my mum. They were downright disrespectful. A simple "Excuse me, my daughter was going to sit here" would have sufficed, but instead they snapped and made a fool of themselves.

This didn't just end there. When we alighted at Jurong East to Change trains, I rendezvoused with my mum. The two ladies, mother and daughter start shouting at us again. This time, I couldn't take it. I went to them and said, "Can I please ask you to quieten down?" repeatedly, even saying in chinese. I used a tone of equanimity and calm composure in a polite fashion. No it didn't work. They continued yelling at the top of their lungs at me! They were screaming the same thing; the daughter ranted about the pushing and the old woman shouting in Hokkien. "Call the police larh! Call arh!" they threatened me. Everyone was staring at us. I didn't feel nervous. Adrenaline was placing me in confrontation mode. My attempts to resolve the conflict were interrupted by the arrival of the MRT. I won't know whether this would have worked anyway since my efforts all fell on deaf ears.

My mum dragged me away to board the train at a different carriage. And no the provocation didn't end there.

When the two woman alighted at Clementi station, they stood there, staring at us and yelling at us. As the MRT departed, my mum and I were relieved that this toturous confrontation finally ended.

"Is this how Singaporeans behave, yelling and scolding their fellow Singaporeans?" This I would wonder if I were a tourist. This shocking behaviour left the issue of courtesy reverberating in my head for a long while. I could not comprehend how the daughter could have the audacity to scold a person many years senior to her in this fashion. The arrogance, the uncouthness.

Without intentional provocation of any sort, they started making a public disgrace of themselves. They lost their composure completely, exposing their ugliness to the whole world. As a bystander to the first confrontation. I would have been utterly horrified by the way the younger lady treated the ageing woman with such disrespect. Furthermore, what she sat on was a PRIORITY seat. A younger lady, snatching the seat from an older woman. Something has gone horribly wrong with the priority seat campaign.

The way the old lady spoke loudly, with unmatched (in the carriage) loquacity and spitefulness in the carriage was very unbecoming of a woman of her age. One would expect an elderly lady to be someone imbued with wisdom and experience, someone tempered by life's journey, someone mellow and magnanimous. Very unfortunately, she was the direct opposite; jaded by the world and a downright bore. I was completely disappointed that she supported her daughter rather than admonishing her. On top of that, the action of pushing one from their seat is completely unacceptable. To put it in plain, her actions were in line with the stereotype of the common Ah Lian.

While a normal person would have brushed this incident off, these two had the indecency of provoking us further after the incident at the platform. When I politely asked them to stop making a scene, they dared me to call the police and shout even louder. I was not part of the incident. I didn't join in, I didn't provoke them in anyway. But in trying to protect my mum from their harassment I took the brunt of their attacks. This reflects the lack of their judgement. Why couldn't they just bury the hatchet after the unpleasant encounter? Why did they continue to pursue the issue over a comment about a mere shove? Why is it that my earnest request for them to stop was completely ignored?

The implication of this whole incident can summed up with the conclusion, there are shameless Singaporeans who have completely no courtesy. When I think of discourtesy, I will always recall those hateful eyes that gazed upon us unjustly as the MRT departed Clementi Station.

Labels: courtesy, disrespect, rudeness

Sigh... OP's coming up. Somehow I'm getting the impression that my group just isn't interested in working for this project. I really am out of ideas how to boost their motivation. I feel like I'm bearing most of the actual work. I was promised by my group leader to play a minor role. But it appears I still have to go all out...

But I don't blame them. I think it's because they did not have a way to contribute ideas. But really, it all started when the group chose my PI as it was the only available GPP then. But it's too late to do any kind of PW group bonding. Those that can carry more should carry more, I know I can carry more even if the others are not willing to. Just a little bit more... I can pull through this... I want everyone to get an A... Even if I'm alone in this...

Labels: against all odds

Something prompted me to write about this. Arrogance to me is something I really dislike. There is a great difference between boastfulness and arrogance. To be boastful is to talk in a self-admiring way while to be arrogant is to be in offensive display of superiority or self-importance; overbearing pride. To boast occasionally without tones of sarcasm and disdain is in itself not wrong. But arrogance is a completely different subject.

An arrogant person is a person who will disdain others he/she deems inferior and less. An arrogant person judges others, and often avoids associating with those they deem as inferior. A moment of boastfulness cannot compare to a blight in character.

I don't know why this is happening. Now and then, I see some people who seem to be left out, yet everyone else does not care. Many a time, you can tell why. These people who are left out are often different in a way that is seen as "uncool". Perhaps the person is fat, geeky, skinny, quiet etc or a combination or factors. But then I always ask the question: why?

Are today's youth becoming more arrogant, more judgmental?

Is it something to do with wealth? As you know, my school's affiliated institutions have students that are generally of a more wealthy background. Is it something to do with the pervasiveness of pop culture in the general youth population? Or is it elitism becoming increasingly ubiquitous?

I think it is the combination of many factors. From my observation, today's youth are increasingly more and more immersed in pop culture. Close to the heart of today's youth are popular American drama series such as F.R.I.E.N.D.S and gossip girl. When youth watch these shows, they are subscribing to the lifestyle that these shows represent. The music scene contributes greatly to how today's youth view what is socially desirable. Today's youths are constantly obsessed with trivia about celebrity gossip and the latest movies and music.

Consequently, youth's admire the pop culture celebrated by the media via the internet and MTV, correspondingly admiring those amongst them who are the most knowledgeable and immersed in this culture. But then, how does this link to how discrimination comes about in schools? I can sum this up in a story.

You are someone wealthy. You are most likely to be living in a condominium or even better accommodation. Your parents are both working and you have a sizable household income to give you what ever you want. You grew up with the latest gadget and trends, branded goods: Nike, Prada, Xbox, PSP, you name it. Your family was able to afford you all sort of lessons: piano, guitar, tuition. You end up in a junior college because of all the help. You have always been at the centre of attention, as result, you possess an extroverted personality. If you're a guy, you are probably in a sports CCA because that where to cool guys are and you want to impress the girls by getting more buff. If you're a girl, you would avoid sports to keep skinny to impress guys and you would probably focus more on the performing arts and you are very likely to have a lot of experience with pop culture because you simply love to talk about the hottest guy in the latest movie or drama. In school you are in the "in" crowd because you have always been because you can afford to go out and socialise.

You have been very careful in picking your friends. Those who keep to themselves, they are just boring!! Those who are skinny and fat, they are just ugly. You desire attention, you want to gossip, you want to be cool and in!!

But then what becomes of those without the financial capacity to support such a lifestyle. They often possess an introverted personality because they have never been exposed to the pressure of pop culture. They are marginalised. They are disdain because they have never been nurtured in the environment where they had to fight for attention. They are cast aside by those who deem themselves as cool.

What I have just described was a parody of how todays income disparity and pop culture have culminated in the way how some of today's youth in my opinion behave. It may not stand true in all circumstances, but it explains a great deal about why some people behave in a certain way.

Personally, I have experience this, and that is why I know about this trend. There was a time I was in a class where all the 'cool' kids would clique together. It is quite true that these people were more athletic and better looking. But the truth is, the way they segregated the class into two groups, cool and uncool, destroyed class solidarity.

But really, when you see a person who does not conform. Is it fair to leave this person as he/she is? Why do you leave a person out just because he/she does not meet your standards of what is deemed to be 'cool'. "It is the duty of the strong to help the weak", that is what I believe should be the attitude people need to take. As a person who is popular, you do not just keep all the attention to yourself while someone else woolgathers in one corner. It is just not quite right. Always involve everyone. If perhaps a person does not quite fit in, tell him/her with good intentions that he/she needs to change and tell him/her how. We can change others for the better while at the same time making a new friend, what could be a better conclusion. Either that, the best solution is always to never judge. Treat everyone equally and never judge a book by its cover. It is plain arrogance to leave and let be.

Labels: arrogance

It's exhilarating... this feeling of an oppressive force lifted like a curse unbound. Today I ended with the last paper of the promos: Chinese. All my hopes and my dreams for next year, I gave it my all during the papers. The final dictum, whether I will be able to qualify for a H3 subject lies primarily in Miss Marhaini. After all, economics is my weakest subject amongst the four H2s. Meanwhile, I still have to face the lesser of two evils, OP and Chinese H1. Most likely, I will retake chinese after just recently unraveling the secret to acing the subject. I just need to extend the respite, to slowly grasp this subject and finally attain a satisfactory grade.

Before promos... I contemplated the though of retaining voluntarily. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have another year of school? I am quite enchanted by the thought, but of course it was quickly crushed by reality. But maybe... just maybe it is a possibility...

Meanwhile, I'll take a well deserved reprieve from the stresses of academics....

Labels: OP., over, Promos