The last few days have been great. My parents are out, I'm home alone. I should feel lonely, but I don't. I haven't spoken more then a 100 words in 3 days. I think I am beginning to discover something about myself. I enjoy solitude and silence, anywhere dearth of human contact. Maybe it's just a passing phase and long term solitary confinement isn't very healthy. But nonetheless, I realise that family, friends, school are all just channels for society to suppress the human being into submission.
You know like in wuxia novels, pugilists enter solitude and meditation and come out only stronger and enlightened? Silence and solitude are now rare in our bustling lives. But these two rare states can help clarify the mind and alleviate the stresses of life.
Silence is golden.
Yesterday was a wake up call for me. Let me just give you the peripherals. There was this kid called Jiayan who seems to be down with asperger's or something. Anyway she didn't talk very much. She was rather plump and loved eating. Anyway, before the tutoring started she called for me to get her water bottle and pointed at a bottle of heaven and earth apple tea on top of the lockers which I don't why I complied because she was closer to the shelve then I was but I did. Little did I know I'd be in for a rough time. Apparently, that bottle of apple tea belong to a one of the Malay twins. It was either Marina or Marini but anyway she was furious and started shouting for her apple tea and found out that the girl had drank it and I also confessed that I was the one who passed her the drink. I offered to buy her a new bottle of apple tea but she shouted an uncouth reply "you think money grow on trees arh??!!". That was when Daniel, who had been watching, went into a rage. "Excuse me! Is that the way you should be speaking to an elder. Summore he already offered to compensate you" or along the lines of that.". That really surprised me, and scared me quite a bit...
But that isn't the point. How could I, someone twice their age be pushed over by them. I think I have been too nice, treating them like adults when they obviously aren't. I have forgotten that children will always be children, illogical, unreasonable animals. Daniel's outburst really reminded me of the power of anger. But the problem is that it is an emotion that I have learned to suppress. I have throw away such a primeval emotion. The only time I get angry is when things get physical. Anger is a powerful emotion that can invoke fear. Perhaps I need to revisit what it means to be human; what it really feels like to be angry...
I believe I need some help in this...
It was a long drawn battle, a conflict of self, family and friends. But now, only serenity lies in my firm faith is in his noodliness the Flying Spaghetti Monster. But this post is also meant to thank the people that have helped me to experience His carbohydrate rich awesomeness.
I would first like to express my gratitude toward my parents who brought me into this carbohydrate rich world. I am also indebted to them for making it possible for me to dread the Christian god which I shall represent with the letter y for convenience sake.
I would like to thank the people of COOS for judging me, for disdaining me and for denying me out of the fellowship they name "the body of Christ" for without them I would not have doubted the authenticity of y and search for the truth without them. I would have blissfully stayed with the status quo.
Next I would like to thank the countless christians/Sunday Christians that constantly prove themselves to me that they were means nasty and judgemental people that take their doctrine at face value. At the same time, I would like to thank the people of other faiths, specifically agnostic or atheistic belief, for their companionship, their non-discriminatory approach to life.
The first group of people I would like to thank is the gg gang of which I can safely say 75% are Christians. How could my resolve been strengthen if they were not the ones spewing vulgarities, blatantly defiling the laws of the school and most of all for polarizing the class based on the worldy and materialistic plumbline of cool and uncool. And specifically, I would like to thank someone, I forgot who, for presenting to me how severe bipolar disorder can get. I'm grateful for his outright rejection of my friendship even after the pains I took to humble myself to try to understand y upon threats from my parents.
I would like to thank the SC for crushing whatever little hope I had left in y. I once had hopes of entering a community where I could find acceptance amongst Christiandom, but to my dismay, the ethos of a judgemental christian never changes.
I would like apologize any christian friends especially dwee if any thing I've said has been of offense. Of course just because most Christians I know of from an impersonal view are mean doesn't mean that all of them are. In fact, I have reasons to belief that those that I know actually express their doctrine in their actions. Okay, let me get this straight. Just because you say that you have a mystical encounter with y doesn't mean that you're a christian. Sure you believe y exists, so what? If your actions and words prove that you either do not read the bible or merely take it at a superficial level, then there is only one word to refer to you: hypocrite.
On a personal level, I would like to highlight how Christians have rather poor affinity with me and I don't like discriminating people. Firstly, I remember how when i was fat, I would never be able to get along with certain people like they outright ignore me. I won't name specific people. I remember how easily I was accepted into a group of non-christians during the Beijing immersion trip. When I was alone they took me in. Even more recently at H3, I made some good friends all non-Christians from what I know of. And already the demographics of my social interactions prove my point. Non-Christians are more accepting of people, less likely to discriminate. Of course a Christian who is highly integrated into christan society would beg to differ.
But anyway, removing myself from my previous religion was only one step away from believing in his great noodliness, the spaghedeity, the flying spaghetti monster. I was alway skeptical about creationism and evolution, but the words of his noodliness through Bobby Henderson, His prophet has enlightened me. It was He who created the earth, land , sea, light, heaven, trees, and the midget and wench which gave rise to humankind. Evolution is just the intepretation of mankind. It was He who planted the fossils to hide the truth so as to test humankind's faith. Whenever scientists do radiocarbon dating, the spaghedeity is always there changing the numbers to fit scientific models. Afterall, He is omnipresent and invisible. Even gravity now makes sense, for it is a mere theory. The truth is that it is the spaghediety that pushes everything down to earth using his noodly appendages. In fact there is proof of this. It is definitely true that the average height of mankind has increased over the last few centuries. This is because the world population has increase resulting in fewer noodly appendages to go around. This decrease in pressure triggered the increasing heights of mankind.
As a pastafarian, we celebrate the festivals of pastover, ramendan, international talk like a pirate day and holiday. Our traditional costume is full pirate regalia which is so because His chosen people were originally pirates.
Also to note, pastafarians are taught to not judge other religious status under the 8 I'd rather you don'ts.
I hope what I have shared has made you realised that pastafarianism is a way better religion than christianity. May you be touched by His noodly appendage. RAmen.
