Yesterday was a wake up call for me. Let me just give you the peripherals. There was this kid called Jiayan who seems to be down with asperger's or something. Anyway she didn't talk very much. She was rather plump and loved eating. Anyway, before the tutoring started she called for me to get her water bottle and pointed at a bottle of heaven and earth apple tea on top of the lockers which I don't why I complied because she was closer to the shelve then I was but I did. Little did I know I'd be in for a rough time. Apparently, that bottle of apple tea belong to a one of the Malay twins. It was either Marina or Marini but anyway she was furious and started shouting for her apple tea and found out that the girl had drank it and I also confessed that I was the one who passed her the drink. I offered to buy her a new bottle of apple tea but she shouted an uncouth reply "you think money grow on trees arh??!!". That was when Daniel, who had been watching, went into a rage. "Excuse me! Is that the way you should be speaking to an elder. Summore he already offered to compensate you" or along the lines of that.". That really surprised me, and scared me quite a bit...
But that isn't the point. How could I, someone twice their age be pushed over by them. I think I have been too nice, treating them like adults when they obviously aren't. I have forgotten that children will always be children, illogical, unreasonable animals. Daniel's outburst really reminded me of the power of anger. But the problem is that it is an emotion that I have learned to suppress. I have throw away such a primeval emotion. The only time I get angry is when things get physical. Anger is a powerful emotion that can invoke fear. Perhaps I need to revisit what it means to be human; what it really feels like to be angry...
I believe I need some help in this...