I was always the big paunchy one in class. But the tables turned in 2008. I remembered the day I looked in the mirror. I saw the sorry state I was in: the ripples on my skin, the mountainous folds that traversed my body like the Alps, the asymmetry of ugliness. As I laid back down on my bed, I could feel the gargantuan burden press down upon myself, almost asphyxiating me. I could feel my heartbeats as they seemed strained and torpid. I took up my hand mirror and looked at myself. The folds the dangled beneath my chin were accentuated by the forces of gravity. I could see ever pore of my face like craggy terrain. Yet I could see a beautiful face, buried in that sea of lipids. I was a travesty of a human being.
Everyday as I went to school. I saw them play. I saw him play. I saw them jump about like frisky gregarious lambs. What did it feel like to be part of a flock? What did it feel like to be unbound by the shackles of gravity. What did it feel like to not be consumed with thoughts of morbidity? I became increasingly consumed by the thoughts of desire. This burning passion possessed me.

Two years on, I am near the pinnacle of what I envisioned. But deep inside me is still etched the deep insecurities of that fat boy. Until I achieve a near zero fat percentage and an iron body. I will not be satisfied.